STRESS Rears Its Ugly Head!

Now I’m STRESSED!!! Don't you all go hard on me with that "You are too blessed to be stressed" saying, cause I'm blessed and yet stressed! God can handle my truth!  Why did I wait until the final hour to get stressed!!!! UUUGGGGHHHH! The

Todays hospital visit

doctor’s office called at the last minute and changed my test to 2 hours earlier for additional test.  That poor girl on the line was probably not happy to have made the last minute call to me. I was not a happy camper.  I lost 3 additional hours of my day! I WAS NOT HAPPY! I felt like I was bombarded with more test! And now I have to be at the hospital in the morning for 5:30 am. Goodness! I am not an early bird! Surgery scheduled for 7:30 a.m.

Later in the day, I really started thinking about the people who have not called me that should have. I don’t believe in setting unrealistic expectations on people. I do know that everyone cannot handle what I am going through, therefore, I am not expecting everyone to call, visit, etc. HOWEVER, I got a little, well extremely, upset with my dad. Seriously dude, you have not called me during this entire ordeal! Brain surgery in the morning and no call from my dad. Yep, I got family dysfunction too! Maybe I should not have called him this evening, but I had to get it off my chest. It bothers me greatly that my father has not only abandoned me, but hasn’t asked, “Have you made arrangements for my wife who you are taking care of?” No one has asked, “What’s going to happen to Henrietta?” WOW! Face it Roline, you are alone as a caregiver! Thankfully, there is a wonderful lady at my church who has taken on the role of visiting my mom regularly. GOD PROVIDES! By the way, please don’t leave negative comments about my dad. I’m venting and giving you insight to my life. I’m not looking for a pity party. It is what it is.

I had planned to go out on a date with my husband tonight. Copeland's was going to be the “last supper” until after recovery. I didn’t know Frankenstein patches were going to be stuck on my face. LOL! I can eat in public with the crooked face, but the diva in me wasn’t going in public with this new look! LOL!

I’m sooooooo ready for this process to begin. Yes I’m concerned greatly, but I am ready for surgery. My testimony is not “It’s going to be alright”, but rather, my testimony is “It is alright, right now.” From the day of my diagnosis, I have been singing “It is well with my soul.” Whatever my lot, whatever happens, whatever God decides, He has taught me to say, because of my relationship with him, and my meditation day and night on his Word, that IT IS WELL WITH MY SOUL! To live is Christ, and to die is gain! I have a PEACE that passes all understanding…..even my own understanding! And I would not have known this, if I had not come face to face with uncertainty. So even though it is not well with my circumstances, it is well with my soul!

I have learned so much on this journey about God, myself, relationships, and others. And I am so grateful for the outpouring of love from people not only across the USA, but also abroad in Kenya, Haiti, and other countries. I am overwhelmed by your support. See you when I see you! Be blessed and be a blessing.

WHEW! God just turned that thing around! I started out writing about stress, but now, I’m GRATEFUL! Here’s my 5 for today:

1.      My husband – Being married to me has made me a better person. He got it like that!

2.      Insurance – My December hospital bill was paid in full! Hallelujah!

3.      My children – They are my everything and have sacrificed to helped me every step of this season.

4.      The kindness of people. We have been abundantly blessed in unexpected ways. This illness is COSTLY! People have ministered to our needs.

5.      My Parents. Yes I said it, although very dysfunctional and abusive, God chose their DNA to bring me here. And I turned out okay. I have had an incredible life, and I’m not done living either!