About 3 hours prior to the appointment with a barber, I became overwhelmed and began melting down with sadness and other distressing feelings. My mood had nothing to do with getting a haircut. Although I wish my hair was just as it was pre-surgery, I AM NOT MY HAIR. Getting the hair cut represents change. For me, this change is in my lifestyle because of an illness. Today I was confronted with the reality of illness in my life. That is what overwhelmed me. I’m a pretty strong woman, but some days I have those “I can’t believe this is happening” moments of reflection.
I am happy with my hair cut, even with the obvious bald spots.. I no longer look like Krusty the Clown. I could shout right here! LOL! Never say never. I said I would NEVER go natural. Creamy crack would always be a part of my hair. Oh, well. Let’s see what this natural hair is going to do. In a few months, when I am able to choose between being natural or returning to the hair crack, who knows what I will do. For now, my right to choose has been taken away from me. I shall overcome! LOL! Tumors suck!! LOL!
When I first looked in the mirror after getting my haircut, I said “I really look like my sister! What do you think?
 |
| The oldest of the Acox siblings on the left. I am 18 months younger. |
You Totally look like your sister! And you both look cute with this hairstyle. Be blessed my sister!
ReplyDeleteWell, Roline, you're just now getting it right! I've been natural for three years and I ain't going back to the crack! Lol Give it a chance. Even when I first went natural by choice, for a couple of weeks I'd sometimes do a double take in shock when I walked by a mirror, before I got use to it. It'll grow on you and you'll like the new you even though it's not by choice. Who knows, when this is all over you may like the natural you so well that you never go back to the crack either.
ReplyDeleteIt is amazing to witness your spirit and heart for God as you go through this! The "realness" of your struggle is heartwarming and I thank God for such a powerful testament of His power to keep us in the midst of the storms of life!
We see Gods strength through your strength as you give us glimpses into your valley experience. We see in you what it looks like to go through the valley of the shadow of death and fear no evil. We see in you what it means when God says His grace is sufficient. We see in you what it means to be weak in your own strength, but strong in Divine strength!
When you boast of Gods goodness as you go through this, it shows the rest of us what it means to have joy in the Lord in spite of our circumstances! You show us how to rejoice in the Lord always!
You know not the far reaches of your blog as countless lives are impacted to the glory of God by your experience that shows us how to hurt and cry while still loving and trusting God through pain, through suffering, through scared times, through every doctors office visit, through every bad doctors report, through every hospital admission, through every surgery, through every infection, through every round of chemo or radiation, through every hair cut, through every emotional meltdown, and through the loss of independence! WOW can't you see Gods sustaining power?
I see God all over you and you wear Him well!
May those who don't know Christ, be drawn by your blog as you lift Him in and throughout your illness, and may those of us that do know Christ be encouraged and strengthened in our faith as we prayerfully watch you go through this tumor storm and remain faithful to God!
Thank you for sharing the sad and scary moments because that lets the prayer warriors know when to press the throne a little harder on your behalf as we cry out to God for you!
God smiles and your heavenly reward is immeasurable! May your earthly reward be far greater than Jobs as you stand in faith to honor and praise your God with every ounce of strength you have, bringing the Word of God to life as you bless the Lord with all your soul and all that is within you!
Love Ya Devalicious! :-)
The chemicals in the creamy crack could very well be linked to some of the health challenges that you are experiencing. Yes, you are not your hair, but your natural hair will give something precious if you just let God work. 1 you will not have those harmful toxins going into your body through your head, 2 your hair is going to be SOOO strong, 3 a good flatiron and you will think you were just relaxed 4 you will be free to be just how God designed you! Natural is not always easy for sure, but it's something about the transition and the process that you go through that brings peace! You are a rock star! God speed!
ReplyDelete