Saturday, March 3, 2012

Relationship 101: Where are the Good Men?

Earnest and Roline Thomas

We’ve heard many women ask the question, “where are the good men?” In this present day, we understand the concern. There are men in prisons, men struggling with homosexuality, men with children from multiple women, men unemployed, and men choosing to remain single. Certainly there is not a shortage of men, however, there is a shortage of men who are ready to be husbands.  So where are the good men? Exploring Genesis 2:15-20, the careful observer discovers principles which good men should possess.
God created Adam a man, but He had to prepare him to be a husband. We find Adam working and managing the Garden of Eden.  Through the assignment of cultivating the Garden, God taught Adam responsibility. Every day Adam went to work. This work may have seemed mundane and tedious, but the job was very much needed. There is nothing glamorous about being responsible but it is an integral part of being a good leader. Adam proved to be a RESPONSIBLE leader before becoming a husband.  If a man does not display responsibility before marriage, don’t expect a responsible husband after saying “I do.”
Adam avoided eating from the tree of good and evil as commanded by God. With this lesson God established boundaries for Adam. The lesson was simple. If Adam would not respect God, his creator, He would not be able to respect God’s creation—his wife. A successful marriage is one where husband and wife respects the boundaries of that relationship. These boundaries include protecting your marriage from intruders which may come in the form of infidelity, interfering family members, and meddlesome friends. Adam showed RESPECT to God’s command. If a man does not display respect before marriage, don’t expect a respectful husband after saying “I do.”

Lastly, Adam models the idea that first and foremost fellowship with God brings one from being a man to a good man. Adam had a relationship with God where he heard God’s voice and responded in obedience. God then blessed him with a human relationship. Looking into the Master’s classroom we learn if our spiritual relationship with God is out of whack, our human relationships will be out of whack. After exhibiting responsibility and respect, God created in Adam a desire and need for a permanent human relationship. A “player” can be responsible and respect God, but he may not see the need for a relationship with one woman. Just because he has a good job, opens the door for you, leads in the church, studies the Bible, and pays his child support that does not make him ready for marriage. Adam willfully decided upon a one God, one woman RELATIONSHIP. If a man is not faithful to his relationship with God and you before marriage, don’t expect a faithful relationship from your husband after saying “I do.
All the development of Adam was done before he could ever lay his eyes on a woman. Adam was ready for a woman, but, Eve was not ready for the man because she hadn’t been formed yet. Proverbs 18:22 says "He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the LORD." It is the man’s job to find a wife. This means a woman is shaped into a wife before a man ever finds her. And, before marriage, she sees her husband as her head and leader. She is already submissive.

Perhaps, you have not captured the eye of a "good man" because you have not become a wife. God could still be shaping you.