Wednesday, December 31, 2014

Upcoming engagement

Preparing to share this weekend. So what if my face has shifted! It hasn't stopped me from talking! LOL! I need your prayers. WORSHIP and SERVICE continues! This is for God's glory!

Tuesday, December 30, 2014

Spoke with Surgeon's Office.....

Sported my wig today. I looked HOT!
Today, I contacted the doctor to get the report of my last hospital testing. I must admit, I was a little terrified.  Still nothing concrete, however, surgery pretesting begins next week with a mammogram. Breast Cancer must be ruled out before brain surgery can be performed. (WOW, THIS IS REALLY HAPPENING!}

If all goes well, I should be having the surgery within a few weeks. What a way to start the New Year! Tomorrow I have an appointment with my pain management doctor. I still have a knee/foot/hip injury to contend with. It sucks that I can’t drive and have become dependent on my family. They have been so patient and helpful, and sometimes feel like I’m imposing. It’s the independent girl that doesn’t want to be slowed down! I’m learning that God has to sometimes, “make me lie down in green pastures.” This illness has slowed me down and is forcing me to rest.

My condition has also revealed love others have for me. I did not know the impact that I have had on others lives. Really, I have been clueless. I am who I am and do what I do because I really care about others. So many people have encouraged me……and it’s been comforting. I’m okay with the fact that my illness has caused people who would otherwise remain silent to come forth and encourage me. I’m prompted and inspired to do the same. We don’t know when another will take their last breathe. I don’t ever again want to regret not encouraging another human being. I’m responding more to social media post. I want to let people know when they have blessed me. Blame it on the tumor, but I got a new attitude!
I am so grateful to have been able to travel to Louisiana to be with family for the holidays. It was the best holiday ever! I seen relatives I hadn’t seen in years. I spent time with my grandkids and all but one of my children. I had a great time with my sister. I finally got to meet a brother I never knew I had. Although I said I would never go back to my childhood home, I did return and visited by dad and the neighbors. Even though dad was reserved, and acted like he really could have done without seeing me, it was good to see him. I didn’t want my trip home to be a “she might die, so let’s all get together” type of gathering. It wasn’t. It was all about
  1. Remembering what we’ve been through and laughing because we survived,
  2. Seeing where we are and being thankful we’ve come this far.
  3. Rejoicing in where God is taking us, particularly with new relationships.

Healing has begun for my family. The enemy would love to use my tumors for evil……I choose to allow God to use it for my good and hope to help others along the way.

Sunday, December 28, 2014

Happy Holidays from the Thomas family!

Camille is missing from the pic
Christmas was awesome this year! It was the best ever! I guess when you find out that life for you may be ending sooner than you think, you learn to appreciate every moment you have. We spent Christmas day in Gonzales, Louisiana with Earnest’s sister and family. Our children, Valencia, Brandi, and Catherine were also there. Camille stayed behind in Arkansas to work. I was also surrounded by my grandkids Nidra and Deylon.  Earnest’s ex-wife, Blanche, sons Brandon and Joshua was also with us for the day.

The day after Christmas   we journeyed to New Orleans. Seeing my sister, and meeting my 37 year old brother were the highlights of the trip. I also spent time with many family members that I haven’t seen in years. Even went to my dad’s house, which was nothing short of a miracle! I’ll write about those events later. You really want to hear about it! Really, you do. 

I love decorating my planner and journal. So, here’s my therapy for today. Now that it’s done for the week and month, I can start writing about my Louisiana trip. Until tomorrow, good night!

Tuesday, December 23, 2014

A Sign of Hope

Good Morning! No signal on the TV caused me to focus on the HOPE standing out on my Christmas tree! "My hope is built on nothing less than Jesus' blood and righteousness."
Thank you Lord for leaving me a message on my tree!

Monday, December 22, 2014

Excessive Error?

Today’s photo shoot. I realized I hadn’t worn this skirt ever. I selflessly wore this skirt because if I should transition, I don’t want a fight to break out over it. I was thinking about your peace! LOL! I’m wearing jewelry I didn’t know I had. It’s been hidden in my armoire.  When I look into my closet, I can see how blessed I am. But also, I can see that I have not been the best giver and/or steward I could possibly be. Now, don’t get me wrong, I believe there is nothing wrong with looking fabulous and divalicious! I’m going to be fly until I take my last breath! If I can bling out my hospital gown, I will! However, I realize, I have waaaayyyyyy too many clothes. LESSON--------Excess is not always a good thing. I’m downsizing. Brain Loritz said blessings are meant to be shared, not hoarded! I’m making changes now! Society teaches us to get and accumulate wealth. God teaches us to give and bless others. Funny how it’s hard to part with stuff you really don’t need. I wonder how much of God’s blessings I’ve missed out on and did not make room for by keeping all of this stuff I should have given away.  Hmmmmmmm.

OMG! This outfit is still sooooooo cute!!!!! I'm keeping it! LOL!

Good morning

See those little pills in the blue packet. I have to place them in the pockets of my eyes each hour. My tears don’t work, therefore I must keep the eyes lubricated with drops and pills. I sleep with a mask and tape my eye shut. That hasn’t been working out well. I can’t seem to keep the mask on my face! This morning, my scarf was no longer on my head----UGGGHH gotta curl the hair again! Wait! I have a wig!
Because of the seizure, when I shower, I have to notify the family. They freak out if I’m in there too long. I love a long shower, but fatigue is shortening the time.
The day before my hospitalization I had a cortisone injection in my knee. Now I can get into my jet tub again. That’s on the list of things to do this day. Learning to appreciate even the small pleasantries.  I haven’t visited my mom in over a week, so today is her day. It should be interesting.

Sunday, December 21, 2014


This has been a great weekend!


I’ve learned that people sometimes don’t visit you when you are sick because they assume or decide you are too tired, need rest, and/or have already been bombarded by high volume guest. NOT MY CASE! As long as speech can come out of my mouth I can handle visits. Please don’t take away my right to decide if I’d like and/or can handle a visit. There is too much uncertainty in my life right now. I’d rather you tell me in person that you care and love me than to stand over my casket saying things you’ve never said to me personally! If you’ve ever been to a family hour, you know what I’m talking about and the deceased can’t hear a word you are saying! Express love to the living! If you cut up at my funeral with words that are foreign to me, I just may get up and slap you! LOL!

 Seriously though, I love visits and calls. It’s personal. I also know when to say no, not today. So don’t worry about it. I have had a lot of guest, and it has been a blessing because it has been people I didn’t expect to receive from. Lesson---- blessings may come from unexpected places. The people you were there for may not be able to be there for you physically and/or spiritually. That’s okay. Everyone doesn’t know what to say or do, so don’t place unrealistic expectations on other people. When you give, you give without expecting anything in return, otherwise, your giving was with a personal motive. God, Jehovah Jireh, will provide who and what you need.

So, here are some visitors from the weekend. Friday, Ladoris and baby brought lunch from Chilis. Kim and Karen visited Friday night. The Romes brought Shrimp Ettoufee Saturday for dinner.
Kim & Karen. I'm trying to force my face to smile. LOL!

The Romes and their fabulous Etouffee!

Got to hold my mouth to sip through a straw.
Also on Saturday, in celebration of my daughters both achieving above 3.0 GPAs at UALR, the family went out to eat at lunch Ray’s Mexican. It’s really intimidating and frustrating to eat in public, particularly with facial palsy. With a finger, I have to hold my mouth up just to drink a beverage. A straw is a must! By the time the food came, I was tired of the experience of eating chips and salsa, so I had it packed up and brought home.

On Sunday at my church, I was scheduled to do the prayer weeks before I became ill. As long as I CAN serve, I WILL serve! I purposed to give God glory by shining a light of hope! I must admit, I was EXHAUSTED after praying. Working half my mouth took EVERYTHING out of me. To add, I had a very bad headache for the rest of the service. God is still good and his mercy endures forever! I was overwhelmed by the love shown to me today by my church family. You blessed me! The icing on the cake was when My Pastor, Dr. Pointer preached a powerful message and then prayed for the staff and families. Glad I was able to be in the house with the saints! Came home, took meds, ate and went to sleep! Still a great weekend.
A few more gifts received today………I am one blessed diva!

Saturday, December 20, 2014

I Can't Keep It To Myself! It is Well!!

I have been encouraged by so many to continue writing my story. I pray my transparency will help the reader to find hope, humor, healing and victory through Jesus Christ. I’m not going to lie----it doesn’t help! Last week, December 10 – 14, 2014, I has hospitalized following a Grand Mal seizure and diagnosed with 2 tumors on the frontal lobe of my brain.  While in the hospital, I developed facial palsy which has left me with no muscle control on the left side of my face. My eye doesn’t close and my mouth is shifted. Now begins my journey to healing.

I currently I am the primary caregiver of my mother, Henrietta Acox,  who has Dementia. Because she requires around the clock care, she resides in a Nursing and Rehabilitation Center in my city. With her illness comes a lot of emotional pain. She’s let all of the family secrets out, and now we have to deal with much hurt.

I am also married to a Pastor, a preacher, teacher, counselor, mother, grandmother, and friend. I don’t plan to let my circumstances to cause me to lose hope. As long as I can type, speak, and blink, I can serve. I will be serving you until the Lord calls me home!  This blog is the avenue I have been lead to serve you through! Updates on my condition and ministry will be posted regularly, so I encourage you to sign up for the email notifications.  I will post an abbreviated message on my Facebook page, and give a more detailed message here on the blog.
It’s not well with my circumstances, but it is well with my soul! God will be glorified! Sit back and enjoy the ride with me! God has been so good to me, and I can't keep what he's doing to myself!Thank you for your love and prayers!