Thursday, October 15, 2015

But wait, there's more!

Skin Sarcoidodis
It’s been over a month since my last blog. During that time, my world has been busy. I thought I would be back at 100% by now. It’s been one diagnosis after another. I let Jesus take the wheel a long time ago. I know the destination, but getting there on these bumpy roads is really making the ride rough. If it ain’t one thing it’s another!

My back continues to pain me. New meds have given me some relief, however, because my prescription was not in stock, it took a while for me to physically get the meds. But wait, there’s more! About a week ago, I noticed what looked like a rash on my knee. The rash is isolated in that one area, however, it continued to get worse. The area felt warm and continuously itched. Yesterday, I went to the doctor.  It appears that the disease has spread to my skin. He can’t officially diagnosis me with skin sarcoidosis until I have a biopsy done. In the mean time he is treating the “rash” as skin sarcoidosis and prescribed a topical steroid to put on it.

But wait, there’s more! The doctor and I began to address the issue with my eye that doesn’t completely close. I’m starting to feel painful pressure on it and my eyelid swells up often. I’ve been officially diagnosed with Ocular Sarcoidosis.  

But wait, there’s more! I’ve been having issues with coughing. Pulmonary Sarcoidosis was suspected. I had X-rays of my lungs yesterday. All is clear! YAY!

Recapping, the sarcoidosis is now on my brain, spine, skin, and eye. Can I have an uncensored Florida Evans moment? No, I rather keep it clean, “DANG, DANG, DANG!”  Instead of a punch bowl, Roline drops her goblet. She has dropped enough bowls on this journey. LOL!

I gave the news to Cat & Camille last night, and the conversation goes like this:

Me: Girls, the doctor said the sarcoidosis is now on my skin and in my eye.

Girls: How are you feeling about this news?

Me: I’m going to be a little depressed for the rest of the night until in the morning. Tomorrow, I must study to teach the Sex Abuse group session. I don’t have time to be depressed too long. I have to serve.

Suddenly, we all laughed. After the laugh the girls talked about how we don’t have the time to waste by being depressed. There’s too much work to be done. (There is a sermon in that)

 I’m not down or depressed. I am however feeling extremely overwhelmed.

Be blessed,

Tuesday, September 8, 2015

Ummmmm Doc, them fighten’ words!

I had a MRI of my brain today and then a visit with my neurosurgeon. I appreciate this particular
doctor because he doesn't sugar coat your diagnosis and yet he really cares for his patients. I was so hoping today would be my last visit with the surgeon. Not so.

After looking at my Brain MRI and a previous Spinal MRI, the doctor said my brain looks good. However, I still have quite a way to go ---- dang on neurosarcoidosis is not taking its eviction notice. He then gave me the not so good news. In his words, he told me. “Your spine is losing its curve and cannot handle the weight of your head.”  At that moment I thought to myself, “What the what? Did this man just call me big head in a nice way? And why isn’t my husband fighting for my honor? Them fightin’ words. I guess I’m going to have to beat Doc down myself.”  LOL!  Then reality hit me (POW) after the doctor gave me several non-surgical options ending with, “I’m just trying to buy to you time. We are going to have to fix your spine.”  He was talking about surgery.
Today, I had on my big girl panties. I wanted to cry, but I didn’t. I wanted to be afraid, but I laughed.  I wanted to ask God why, but I thought about His faithfulness. I wanted to tell Doc, don’t push me cause I’m close to the edge, but I forget the rest of the song. I did tell my neurosurgeon that I don’t want to have another surgery, so let’s do whatever  the insurance pays for-----I haven’t loss my senses, I know all of the options will cost money that I don’t have so don’t hate on me for counting the cost. LOL!
Guess what I did after getting that news. I came home, ate, rested for a few hours and went to the church and conducted a 2-hour counselors training for my church’s upcoming Sex Abuse Support Group. And the devil thought the news concerning my health would distract me. HA!
This is for God’s glory, therefore it is well with my soul. HA!
Be A Blessing,

Monday, September 7, 2015

I an not interested!

Today, was the day that after receiving several solicitations from people, I had had enough! I know people have to make money to live. The strategy used is somewhat offensive. Each person that has tried to sell me a "miracle product" starts out by sending a vague private message saying, "I may have something that can help you." It takes a few private messages and/or texts before the "it's going to cost you money" is admitted. I loathed this tactic. It comes across that the person who is trying to help me is really looking to help themselves at my expense. Unlike the woman with the issue of blood, I don't plan on wasting my money. I've already gone directly to the God, my healer.

This is a message from me posed on Facebook to anyone who think they have a "miracle product":

Please be in prayer for me. Tomorrow (Tuesday) is a big day for me. I have "THE" appointment; one at the hospital for tests, followed by one with my neurosurgeon.

Wednesday, August 26, 2015

In spite of the craziness, today was a good day

Ut-Oh! I'm in trouble
I went to the church with my husband so that he could later take me to have blood work done at my rheumatologist’s office.. I figured I could get some work done while I waited for my husband to complete a few tasks. The blood work up should have been done by the second week of July. I had forgotten about it. Blame it on the tumor! LOL!

I was in my office working when my pain management doctor’s office called to see if I was okay. Why? I missed my appointment. Thankfully I was only a few blocks away. The catch: I had to drive myself because my husband was teaching the morning 9 am Bible Study. He was not happy because I will not be cleared to drive until January 2016. I usually do a good job writing down my appointments. This shows I see way too many doctors. I was in trouble.

When I made it back to the office, the thought of facing Earnest forced me to cope with my drug of choice. I needed a drink. A CokeHead under pressure is not a good combination, therefore I hit the can. LOL!

I felt good driving. The joy ride was therapeutic, lol! I almost stopped at a few stores until my pain reminded me that wasn't doable. Oh well!

After Earnest preached at our noonday service, he  brought me to have my blood work done. I'm was whipped! After singing "nobody knows the trouble I feel," He gave me a get out of jail free card for driving. I was going to blame it on the tumor anyway. Lol!

Thankfully Camille helped out today by picking up my meds from Wal-Mart. After driving a car today, I don't want to go back to my 5 mph Wal-Mart scooter-hog.  I now have a need for speed!

By 2 p.m. all of my energy was depleted. I did a bit much today. Since I was exhausted and in bed, took my chemo pills. They make me sick, but I got to do what I got to do.

With all of the craziness, I must admit, TODAY WAS A GOOD DAY. I had a good laugh at myself.

Tuesday, August 18, 2015

Marriage Retreat

As Covenant partners, God has called my husband and I to serve, mentor, and empower other marriages. Satan thought illness would distract us----not so! It is easy to use sickness as an excuse to not serve. My assignment and calling has not been nullified by God, He gives me the grace to do what He has called me to do. Please pray for a transforming experience and for traveling grace.

Monday, August 17, 2015

Another procedure.......

3 out of 8 injection sites from today.

Today I had a second procedure in relation to my spine problems and back spasms. I’ve had great back pain for several months. Months ago it was discovered I have 2 bulging disc in my spine. Also, the neurosarcoidosis may be the culprit affecting my spine. The first series of injections, totaling 6, were done June 8th. The earlier injections failed to give me relief. I had another series done today—6 injections into my upper back and 2 into my lower back. I didn't take pictures of the injections on my lower back because this lady is too classy for booty shots! 
The lower spine is not paining me, however my upper spine is very sore. By tomorrow I should feel relief. I pray this works, because I am hoping to avoid surgery.  Today, I’m taking it easy. Catherine cooked rice to go with gumbo from the freezer that Camille cooked last month.

Surprisingly my dad called today. He said he was calling just to see how I was doing. I must admit, I believe someone told him about my last blog. I'm going to give him the benefit of the doubt and just receive the call for the intent he claims. I was very groggy from the meds, so I could not speak with him very long.

Thursday, August 13, 2015

Headache, drama, and the world continues to turn

I am experiencing a major headache today. It is one of the side effects of the chemo pills I take on Wednesdays. I’m doing my best not to complain, however, you’d think these headaches would be gone by now. At least I have experienced a day headache free. That gives me hope.

Yesterday, Aug. 12th was my sister’s birthday. Yesterday also was National Middle Child Day. There’s a “national day” for just about everything. SMH. For the first 50 years of my life, although I
had my suspicions, I thought I was the youngest child. Last year it was confirmed that I am the “middle child.”  I guess I should have been celebrating with my sister. LOL!
I am trying my best to not stress out over this situation, however, it’s very difficult. Stress is not a good thing for me and my recovery. My new found brother is not the issue. We have bonded and are cultivating our relationship. I hear from him frequently. I’ve forgiven my dad for cheating on my mom for 40 plus years. It was no surprise considering my upbringing. I have difficulty resolving the idea that my father continues to be a dead beat dad. I am so very disappointed in my dad’s actions, particularly since he has spoken harshly against other deadbeat fathers. Although I can do nothing to change what has happened in the past, I presently must honor my dad who still refuses to be a father to his son and who shows my sister and I no love or concern. My mother, his wife who I am caregiver of, he never calls or ask about. My mom has built a wall to try to protect the pain of feeling abandoned by him. Dementia has left her with no filter; she says what’s on her mind. It hurts my heart to see and hear her pain.
During this course of illness a lot of lies and secrets has been exposed. Drama has no respect of illness. I’m at the place where I pray there isn’t additional drama because I don’t know how much more I can take emotionally and physically. I have said many times, “who counsels the counselor?”  In spite of it all, I still love the Lord, and I know He is the one that keeps me sane. He is my Counselor! I don’t know what I would do without Him. It is important for me to serve others in spite of my personal drama.  I can only imagine the headaches being worse if I would sit down and mull over my problems.
So it’s worship and serving as usual. I’m still teaching and preaching the Word of God. I’m currently preparing for several engagements, one out of state, between now and the end of the month.  I speak to God and He speaks to me.  I can do all things through Christ……..including celebrating Middle Child Day!  I just encouraged myself…..With Christ, I can handle this! I need Thee because the world continues to turn.