Where do I begin?

This past 2 weeks probably has been the worst weeks of my life. Yes, I hit my head 2 weeks ago, but that incident played little into my woes. Before the hit, I had been having increased headaches, fatigue, weakness, muscle spasms, shortness of breath during sleep, facial swelling and a slew of

Red-eye at the top, Swollen face on the right,
Still Divalicious at the bottom.

other symptoms. Once again cooking and cleaning has become foreign to me, but at least my home is looking decent. My left eye is still not functioning properly. It’s beginning to burn and become red from irritation. If I was a drinking woman, you’d say I had one too many “spirits.” LOL! My steroid daily dosage has been increased. The fat chick won’t be dying anytime soon. SIGH! I’m up 28 lbs and counting, but I’m still divalicious!

 

I was scheduled to have my postoperative follow-up MRI in July, however, my doctor has moved it up to this coming Thursday. I’ve also had blood work done. This is all in an effort to find out what is going on and to discover if the disease has spread to my spine. Ut-Oh! Nevertheless, IT IS WELL WITH MY SOUL!.....I still can’t believe all this is happening! Next week, I return to the doctor to get the results of my test.

 

So why was the past few weeks my worst? While dealing with my health challenges, I slipped into a deep depression. Yep, I can work depression--- you didn’t know it, but those living under my roof saw it clearly. I know what the Word says, but that doesn’t change the fact that I went there! It does explain why I haven’t blogged in a minute. I didn’t sleep much, wouldn’t eat, cried a lot, and was in a funk! I wasn’t depressed about my health. I allowed deep family hurt to overwhelm me so much so that I came face to face with having to make one of the most difficult decisions of my life. I’m trusting God to work it out. I’m learning to just stand when I’ve done all I can. During the two weeks, my husband and children showed me just how much they loved me through their support and care. Tears are welling up in the corner of my “good eye” (LOL!) just thinking about their gentleness.

 

I am getting a clearer picture of this particular verse:

Romans 8:17-18 - and if children, then heirs—heirs of God and joint heirs with Christ, if indeed we suffer with Him, that we may also be glorified together. ¹⁸ For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us.

 

As I suffer with Christ, he gives me grace to do what he assigns me to do. He gives me the strength to serve. Sorry folk, I refuse to use “I need to rest” as an excuse to not do ministry. I get plenty of rest. Also, I am only operating in ministry at a fraction of what I did pre-illness. Jesus served while hanging from a cross. He did what he could do while in a circumstance of suffering. I’m just trying to be an imitator of Christ. I’m doing only what I can when I can while I can.

Love  to you all! - Roline